”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

Episode 142: Michael D. Levitt of the Breakfast Leadership podcast interviews J. Paul Nadeau

This episode features a long-awaited conversation between host Michael and guest Paul Nadeau, a former hostage negotiator, international peacekeeper, and detective Michael expressed his thanks that they finally connected, and both men gave a shout-out to their colleague and friend, King.
 The interview was recorded at the end of October 2025 and delves into Paul's intriguing and impactful 32-year career, 20 of which were spent working in major crimes.
The Journey into Law Enforcement and Negotiation
Paul explained that his path to becoming a policeman was set at a young age. After suffering abuse from his father, he promised himself at age seven, "When I grow up, I'm going to be a policeman so I can arrest you". Later, his father took his own life with the same rifle he had used years earlier to kill "Santa Claus".
Paul began working at ages 13 or 14 to pay room and board, which unknowingly taught him negotiation skills and an ability to communicate with adults and read people. After his father died, Paul joined a suicide hotline in Oshawa, Ontario, where he was trained for months and spent hours listening to suicidal people, preparing him for a police career.
Paul shared the pivotal moment that demonstrated his natural negotiation ability: a 911 call where he was the first responder to a man attempting suicide. The man had a noose around his neck, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a box cutter. Though Paul was not yet a hostage negotiator, he began talking to the man as he would have on the suicide line. About 40 minutes later, Paul talked the man off the chair, realizing he had a special talent. This experience later encouraged him to apply for and pass the tests to become an RCMP-approved hostage negotiator.
Paul noted that the events he suffered when he was younger actually happened for him, and he encouraged listeners to consider how past trauma may have shaped them into who they are today, urging them to "let go of the pain".
The Hostage Effect
The conversation turned to Paul's latest book, The Hostage Effect. Paul posits that a huge part of the world is currently suffering from this condition, which he describes as a "psychological virus".
Definition: The Hostage Effect occurs when people feel like hostages without the use of bars, cells, or chains, due to uncertainty, fear, and manipulation.
Causes: This feeling stems from current global issues, including wars, governments eroding democracies, and daily announcements that threaten citizens' lives. Paul cited examples of governments attempting to pass bills that threaten privacy and free expression, leading to widespread anxiety and fear. He noted that when he was in the Middle East, he saw an entire country held hostage through this fear and manipulation.
The Book as a Guide: Paul emphasized that The Hostage Effect is a blueprint and call to action that offers awareness and steps to take control of one's mental wellness. It serves as a guide for people to retain their autonomy and agency.
Michael praised the book, calling it a "gamechanger" that provides renewed awareness, hope, and "quite frankly permission to take back control of your life".
Core Lessons Learned
Paul shared two valuable lessons he learned throughout his career that listeners can immediately use in their lives.
We are more similar than we are different: Paul noted that regardless of skin color, preferences, or religion, "We all laugh, love, and bleed in the same way". This realization allows individuals to imagine what it's like to be in another person's shoes, fostering compassion and effective communication. Paul used this approach in units like sexual assault and child abuse, understanding that if he were the victim, he would want a compassionate officer to approach him.
You get what you give: If you approach others with dignity, respect, passion, and understanding, you are likely to receive the same in return. Paul provided powerful examples of this lesson in action: a terrorist saved his life because of how he had treated him in the Middle East, and criminals came to his defense when he was being beaten because of ways he had treated them in the past.
Paul stressed the importance of focusing on the things we can control, citing Victor Frankl, who said that everything can be taken away but "our power to choose our responses to the situations that we're in".
Listeners interested in finding out more about Paul's work or his book can run his name through the internet or AI.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Episode 141: Mastering Your Mindset

In this episode, we dive deep into the one thing that separates those who rise above from those who stay stuck: mindset. The truth is, your mindset shapes everything—from your relationships to your career to your overall sense of purpose. And the best part? The quality of your mindset is a choice you get to make every single day.
We’ll break down how to recognize your true value and stop the endless habit of comparing yourself to others. You’ll learn about the Four Rooms of Consciousness, a concept shared by actor Glenn Morshower, which helps you identify where you’re living mentally—from the Room of Impossibility to the Room of Inevitability, where success becomes your natural state.
We’ll talk about energy—how to raise it, protect it, and use it to attract better people and opportunities. You’ll also learn how to take a hard look at your life, celebrate your wins, cut out what’s toxic, and rediscover your purpose.
Finally, we’ll discuss why focusing on the process, not just the outcome, is the key to growth. As Bryan Cranston once said, your job isn’t to get the role—it’s to give your very best performance. The same is true in life: you can’t control the outcome, but you can always control the energy and intention you bring to every moment.
If you’re ready to shift your mindset, elevate your energy, and make success inevitable, this episode is for you.Mindset | Motivation | Personal Growth | Success Habits | Mental Wellness | Inspiration | Life Lessons | Emotional Intelligence | Mindset Mastery | Personal Development
 

Episode 140: "The Hostage Effect" - book excerpt reading - by J. Paul Nadeau

In this episode, J. Paul Nadeau—former hostage negotiator, international peacekeeper, and author—reads the powerful opening of his new book The Hostage Effect. Part political alarm and part self-help guide, this book exposes how fear, misinformation, and creeping authoritarianism are quietly eroding freedom across North America and beyond. Drawing on real-life negotiations and high-stakes experiences, Paul shows how the same psychological tactics used on hostages are now being deployed on entire societies—and how you can resist them.
This episode offers a gripping preview of a book designed to wake you up, arm you with practical tools, and help you stay sane, strong, and free in a world that often feels out of control.
Call to Action
If this message resonates with you, please help share it. Pick up your copy of The Hostage Effect on Amazon and, if you find it valuable, leave a 5-star review. Your support not only spreads the word but also helps others discover a guide to reclaiming their agency and breaking free from the invisible chains of fear.

Episode 139: The Art of Agreement: Negotiation Secrets with Paul Nadeau

n an engaging interview on SiriusXM's "Cordially Yours," host Charles McFersonson converses with Paul Nadeau, an esteemed hostage negotiator, former detective, and author. Nadeau shares insights from his extensive career, contrasting real-world negotiations with their cinematic portrayals. He emphasizes the critical role of building trust, maintaining a calm demeanor, and allowing time for individuals in high-stress situations to process information. Nadeau introduces his "PIE" (Planning, Intent, Engaging) framework for effective communication and negotiation, highlighting the importance of respecting the "client"—even if that client is a hostage-taker or a murderer. The discussion extends to broader applications of negotiation tactics in personal relationships, stressing the value of active listening, empathy, and seeking mutual understanding over simply "winning" an argument.

Episode 138: Choose your Life

🎙 Podcast Title: The Arena with Linda McLaughlinEpisode: 49 – J. Paul Nadeau: Choose Your Life
Summary:In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, host Linda McLaughlin speaks with J. Paul Nadeau — former police detective, hostage negotiator, international peacekeeper, keynote speaker, and author of Take Control of Your Life. Drawing from a traumatic childhood with an abusive, alcoholic father, a 30-year career in law enforcement, and several major life challenges (including divorce and a near-death encounter with terrorists), Paul shares his central message: we often become hostages to our own negative thoughts, but we also hold the key to our freedom by changing our mindset.
Key Themes & Insights:
Being a Hostage to Your Mind:Like a real hostage negotiator, Paul describes how people obey the “hostage-taker” of negative self-talk. Liberation begins with challenging and replacing destructive narratives.
Turning Trauma into Purpose:His childhood abuse, once a source of pain, became a driving force that led him into a career helping others — from arresting abusers to saving lives in crisis.
Life’s Setbacks as Gifts:Divorce, career transitions, and unexpected changes can be reframed as opportunities for growth and new experiences.
Profound Life Lesson:While on a peacekeeping mission in Jordan, Paul was nearly killed by insurgents but was saved by a man he later learned was a terrorist — solely because Paul had treated him with respect. This reinforced the importance of dignity in human interactions.
Living Courageously:Courage is about stepping beyond fear in every arena — physical, moral, social, intellectual — to pursue the life you want.
Responsibility and Choice:Your past does not justify harmful actions today. You are the product of your present choices, not your past suffering.
Mindset for the Present:Paul urges listeners not to live in the “poor me hotel” of the past or become overly fixated on the future. The present is the gift where change and joy happen.
Legacy & Impact:Paul aims to leave the world better through his writing, speaking, and personal example — inspiring others to believe, “Why not me?”
Notable Quotes:
"Nobody’s coming to rescue you… it’s up to you to make radical changes in your life."
"Some of the most beautiful things lie beyond our fears."
"The present is called the present because it is a gift."
"You are not a product of your past — you are a product of your choices."
Closing Message:No matter your current circumstances, someone has overcome something similar. Seek out solutions, surround yourself with positive influences, and make intentional choices to live an extraordinary life.

Episode 137 - The Hostage Effect: The Warning You’ve Been Waiting For

🎙️ Podcast Summary: The Hostage Effect – This Isn’t Just a Book. It’s a Warning.
Duration: 42 minutes
In this gripping, no-holds-barred episode, former hostage negotiator and international peacekeeper J. Paul Nadeau pulls back the curtain on the psychological warfare quietly eroding our freedom—from within.
You'll hear the chilling true story of two young boys locked in a cage, a moment that became the emotional heart of the book and a metaphor for the silent captivity millions are living under today. It’s raw, real, and unforgettable.
This episode dives deep into the meaning behind The Hostage Effect—how fear, media manipulation, division, and trauma have turned modern society into a battlefield for your mind. And more importantly, how to break free from it.
🔊 Whether you're feeling anxious, angry, helpless—or just numb—this conversation was made for you.📘 The paperback is now available.💻 The eBook is on sale for the price of a latte.🎧 Start with this episode. Then read the book. Then reclaim your freedom.
"They weren’t criminals. They were just boys. Locked in a cage. That moment broke something in me—and opened my eyes to what we’re all being trained to ignore."

Episode 136: Dammit, Just Ask! - Mastering Negotiations with J. Paul Nadeau

Welcome to a podcast that promises to reshape how you approach negotiation and communication. Based on J. Paul Nadeau’s acclaimed book Dammit, Just Ask!, this series draws from Paul’s extraordinary career as a hostage negotiator and Special Victims Unit detective to deliver actionable insights and transformative strategies.
At its heart is Nadeau’s philosophy of “We, Not Me”, encouraging listeners to abandon confrontational tactics in favor of collaboration and connection. This mindset prioritizes respect and understanding, creating outcomes that benefit all parties involved.
Here’s what you can expect from the podcast:
1. The PIER Negotiation Method
Listeners will explore the PIER framework—Planning, Intent, Engagement, and Relationships—a step-by-step approach that turns complex negotiations into manageable conversations. Each element will be broken down with practical strategies to help you plan meticulously, clarify your intent, and engage authentically for lasting, meaningful relationships.
2. The Power of Relationships
Drawing from compelling stories, such as his transformative interaction with a young offender named Aaron, Paul highlights the power of establishing trust—even in the most high-pressure situations. Relationships are the foundation of successful negotiations, and this podcast reveals how to foster them effectively.
3. Active and Soulful Listening
True understanding goes beyond words. The podcast delves into techniques like active listening and Nadeau’s unique soulful listening, which focuses on uncovering emotions, motivations, and unspoken needs. By listening deeply, you can connect with your counterpart on a profound level, paving the way for mutual understanding.
4. Identifying and Addressing Pain Points
Learn how to identify and address your counterpart’s hidden fears and concerns—what Paul calls their “invisible nooses.” This client-focused approach not only builds trust but also encourages transparency, allowing for solutions that meet the needs of all parties involved.
5. Embracing the Power of Asking
The mantra is simple: “Dammit, Just Ask!” This podcast empowers listeners to overcome hesitations and ask for what they want, using well-planned strategies to increase their chances of success. Paul’s own experiences demonstrate how bold, effective asking can open doors to remarkable opportunities.
6. The PAID Technique
When faced with objections or heightened emotions, Paul introduces the PAID method—Pause, Assess, Identify, and Discuss. This technique offers a calm and constructive way to address challenges, maintain productive dialogue, and keep negotiations on track.
7. The SALES Acronym
Drawing from Chris Do’s SALES framework—Serve, Ask, Listen, Empathize, Summarize—the podcast equips listeners with additional tools to enhance communication and drive better outcomes, whether in professional negotiations or personal conversations.
Why Listen?
This podcast is more than just a guide to negotiation; it’s a masterclass in building trust, fostering connection, and achieving success with integrity. Whether you’re navigating high-stakes business deals or everyday challenges, Paul’s techniques will help you approach every conversation with confidence and purpose.
Prepare to be inspired, equipped, and empowered. With J. Paul Nadeau’s Dammit, Just Ask! podcast, you’re not just learning to negotiate—you’re learning to transform your approach to communication, relationships, and life itself.
Tune in, and let the journey begin!

Episode 135: Take Control of Your Life book summary - Final Episode

The last Deep Dive in the 3 episode overview of Paul's book "Take Control of Your Life." In this series you'll discover:
Nadeau's Principles and Techniques for Reclaiming Control
 
Nadeau emphasizes that reclaiming control over thoughts and actions begins with awareness:
● Recognizing that negative thoughts can "take you hostage" mentally1 and understanding the difference between being physically held hostage and being hostage to your own thoughts1.
 
● Engaging in regular self-examination to understand your mental state, identifying what brings you happiness or unhappiness, and assessing your values, motivations, and fears23.
Once you are aware of negative thought patterns, you can use the following techniques to reclaim control:
 
● Developing a SEEMP (Self-Empowering and -Enabling Management Plan)4. Similar to an emergency management plan, a SEEMP helps you to systematically identify, mitigate, prepare for, and recover from negative thoughts and setbacks45.
 
○ Conduct a personal SWOT analysis to identify your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats6.
○Find ways to deal with negative thoughts and prevent them from "settling in," such as exercise, reading, spending time in nature, etc.6.
 
● Change negative associations to positive ones. By consciously replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations, you can shift your perception of challenging situations and develop the motivation to take positive action78.
 
○ Reframe painful experiences by focusing on the pleasure associated with taking positive action78.
 
● Challenge negative beliefs and replace them with empowering ones. Nadeau encourages you to see yourself as "limitless" and capable of achieving your goals910. 
 
○  Identify limiting beliefs that keep you feeling helpless and replace them with thoughts and actions that promote success11.
○Use affirmations to shift your mindset and remind yourself of your strength and worthiness12.
Nadeau argues that taking action is crucial for escaping negative thought patterns and achieving your goals:
 
● Don't dwell on the past. Acknowledge past experiences but focus on the present moment and the choices you can make to create a positive future1314.
 
● Make a conscious decision to change. Identify areas in your life that you want to improve and commit to taking specific, directed action151617.
 
●  Develop positive habits. Consistent effort and action, even in small steps, are essential for achieving lasting change1819. 
 
● Be persistent and adaptable. Accept that setbacks and failures are part of the process and be willing to adjust your approach as needed1719.
Nadeau also emphasizes the importance of gratitude and faith in maintaining a positive mindset: 
 
● Cultivating gratitude helps shift focus from what is lacking to the abundance already present in life20.
 
● Having faith can provide strength and resilience during challenging times, allowing you to persevere towards your goals21.
 
By implementing these principles and techniques, you can move beyond self-sabotaging behaviors, reclaim control over your thoughts and actions, and live a more fulfilling life22.
 
To purchase the book or hire Paul as a speaker, follow this link:https://www.jpaulnadeau.com/